A lot of guys do things that actually repel the women they're interested in dating or getting into a relationship with.
Hard to believe?
Well, it's true. They do.
And what's worse?
They do this with every single "new woman" that comes into their life over and over again... every... single... time.
So the question, my friend, then is:
Why do they do this?
I mean, if they want a certain woman, why would they do things that would "push her away"?
Why wouldn't they do the "right things" from the very beginning so a woman would immediately be interested in getting together with them?
These are great questions.
After all, that would only make logical sense, right?
But THAT is the strangest part about it...
They do things that repel women because they simply DON'T realize they're doing it — so they CAN'T help it!
And if you've ever tried getting a woman to go out with you or become your girlfriend but things just "didn't work out", what you're about to learn will reveal the exact reasons why you've had these problems when "pursuing" a woman...
... and also show you EXACTLY how to solve them.
And the result?
You'll start finding the women you meet in the future will be much more interested in you than they have been up until today.
So here they are:
PROBLEM #1:
“I’m really nice to her but she doesn’t seem interested in me”
Okay, tell me if you can identify with this situation:
Let's say you meet a woman who you find attractive — perhaps at work or through mutual friends. She seems really cool and you'd be interesting in pursuing "something" with her.
So what do you do?
How do you act and treat her when you're around her?
Well, maybe you compliment her on how she looks by telling her how cute or beautiful she is.
Maybe you do "nice things" for her, like getting her a drink or holding her things for her while she goes to the restroom or something.
And maybe you give her your undivided attention by listening intently to everything she says, doing your best to understand her and where she's coming from.
Basically, you are really "nice" to her. You know, you treat her like a true gentleman "should".
Alright, here's the pin that may burst your balloon:
Women are interested in guys who they feel attracted to. And doing all of these "nice things" doesn't cause a woman to "feel that way" about you.
Just what does that mean?
Well, think about yourself... why do you become interested in certain women and not others?
Isn't it because you find the ones you're interested in attractive?
After all, isn't that the ONLY difference between women you'd like to date and women who you just want as friends.
What if a woman was obese? Would you be interested in a "romantic relationship" with her?
Not likely.
Why not?
For the simple reason that you wouldn't find her attractive.
Kind of obvious, I know
But look at it this way from a woman's perspective:
By being "really nice" to women: by complimenting them a lot, going out of your way to do things for them, or doing them special favors, a woman will actually see you the SAME WAY as you do a very "fat" woman.
Being "too nice" is to women what "fat" is to us.
THE SOLUTION:
The first thing you NEED to do is stop being OVERLY nice to women. This doesn't mean being mean. It just means that you stop treating them like they're the center of the universe.
Stop treating them like they're "special" or more important than anyone else... especially as more important than yourself!
Got it?
Good.
PROBLEM #2:
“She says she has a boyfriend but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t”
Have you ever asked a woman for her phone number or asked if she'd like to go out with you sometime, but she said:
"I have a boyfriend."
Or: "I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much."
Maybe she even brought up her boyfriend earlier in the conversation before you got the chance to ask her out.
That generally makes sense, right?
After all, why would a woman who's already in a relationship want to go out with another guy?
But here's the catch:
You were pretty sure she DIDN'T have a boyfriend. In fact, maybe you even KNEW she was single without a doubt.
So why would she tell you she had a boyfriend — when she didn't?
Why would she "lie" about it?
Again, think about the situation from your perspective:
Let's say a woman who you weren't attracted to you asked you out. How would you respond? What would you say?
I mean, obviously you wouldn't look at her in a "romantic way", so you wouldn't be interested in her in that way, right?
But would you tell her that directly?
Probably not.
After all, who wants to "reject" someone and hurt their feelings and then perhaps put themselves in a position to be blamed for it?
For wasn't the REAL problem simply that there was NO attraction?
It's not personal. Not really, anyway.
So women tell guys who they aren't attracted to that they have a boyfriend to avoid getting into a "sticky situation" just like that.
She doesn't mean to lie or be deceptive.
All it means is that she doesn't find you attractive... which is okay.
Because you can change it...
THE SOLUTION:
Learn exactly what women find attractive in a man. Then make some changes so that women automatically become attracted to you.
For when you do that, women won't tell you they have boyfriends when they don't.
PROBLEM #3:
“She gave me her number but it was the wrong one”
When this happens, isn't there that "What if" factor?
You know, maybe you wrote it down wrong or maybe she made a mistake when she wrote it down for you. Or maybe you dialed it wrong... every time.
Could be, right?
Well, the honest truth is... not likely.
In fact, she probably gave you the wrong number on purpose.
But did she do it just be mean or cruel?
So why would she do it? What's in it for her?
Well, as you've probably guessed by now...
If a woman gives you a wrong number, she probably wasn't attracted to you, so she wouldn't have been interested in going out with you.
And just like when a woman says she has a boyfriend even when she's single, the reason is because she doesn't want you to feel rejected by her saying "No" to you.
So instead, she just gives you a "fake number".
That way she doesn't have to deal with the situation and perhaps be seen as the "evil one" for rejecting a guy directly.
THE SOLUTION:
Again, as you probably guessed... the answer is to first BECOME more attractive to women (more on this in other articles).
For when you do, women will WANT TO give you their REAL numbers for the simple reason that they want to see you again... because they feel that "spark".
PROBLEM #4:
“She asked for my number but then she never called me”
If you've never gotten the "I have a boyfriend" excuse, maybe you've found yourself in this situation:
After meeting a woman and talking for awhile, you ask for her number.
And how does she respond?
Does she give it to you... or does she say:
"Well, why don't you give me YOUR number."
And what do you do?
Well, you probably give it to her. I mean, why not? Saves you any nervousness of calling her, right?
But then what happens?
Well, over the following days you probably sit around that phone, just waiting for her to call you.
Then one by one, the days pass by and you begin to doubt if she ever will.
And what ultimately happens in the end?
Nothing.
She doesn't call... and maybe you never see her again.
But why didn't she call you?
I mean, if she asked for your number, wouldn't that mean that she wanted it? And if she wanted it, why wouldn't she call?
Yeah, women don't seem to make much sense, do they?
But how about if we were to look at it in a different way:
What if she wasn't interested in the FIRST PLACE? And the only reason she asked for your number was because then she wouldn't have to give you hers.
In fact, what if it was just an easy way for her to get out of another "sticky situation" she didn't want to be in?
Bingo!
THE SOLUTION:
It's a very simple one:
NEVER give a woman your number if she first "refuses" or avoids giving you hers.
PROBLEM #5:
“I call her and ask her out on a date but she just gives me excuses”
Let me know if you've ever experienced this:
You want to take a woman out on a date, but every time you call to ask her out, for some strange reason, she never seems to have time to get together or it "falls through" at the very last minute.
Why?
I mean, if she wasn't interested in you, why did she give you her number in the first place?
Is she just a really busy person?
Or is there something else going on behind the scenes here?
To answer that, it may help if we rewind a little bit and take a closer look at your phone conversation with her.
What did you say?
You know, you called her and probably made some small talk for a little while, then what?
Did you finally work up the nerve, and say:
"You know... ummm... I was wondering if maybe I could take you out tomorrow."
And she said:
"Ummm... well... what did you have in mind?"
And you said:
"I don't know. Just hang-out, I guess... what do you wanna do?"
And what did she say?
Either:
"Oh! I forgot, I'm busy tomorrow."
Or:
"Well, why don't you call me tomorrow?"
Of course, the next day when you called her, no one answered or she wasn't home.
So what's going on here?
Well, she probably WAS interested in you... UNTIL you called her.
And the reason she changed was: you didn't have a plan, which made you come off as unsure of yourself.
In fact, you were looking to her or asking her to setup the date YOU called about. And that doesn't exactly make a woman want to go out with a guy.
THE SOLUTION:
Okay, you know how women want to be "swept off their feet"? Well, that essentially means that they want the man to plan everything ahead of time and lead the way... so all she has to do is follow and go along with it.
So DO THAT.
When you call for a date, tell her what you're planning to do and instead of "asking her out", just ask if she'd like to JOIN you.
It works wonders! Test it out for yourself next time.
PROBLEM #6:
“I take her out to dinner and a movie but I don’t get a second date”
Yeah, I love this one.
You know that song "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"?
Well the songwriter wasn't lying... girls DO just want to have fun.
And guess what?
Honestly, from a woman's perspective, dinner dates and movies are NOT fun. In fact, they're generally pretty boring and drawn out. After all, they last over three hours!
Three FULL hours of complete boredom. "But hey! it's better than staying at home alone," she thinks.
I mean, think about it:
Why do women enjoy spending time with guys? Why do women seem to like dating "jerks"?
It's really quite simple:
Hanging around these guys allows them to feel STRONG emotions!
And strong emotions equals FUN.
See, dinner dates and movies generally don't create an environment where that's possible.
Just think back to when you've taken a woman out to dinner, what did you talk about?
Did you exchange "life stories"?
Did you discuss movies? Current events? Politics? Religion?
Did you listen to her talk about some personal problems she's experiencing in her life... or discuss the "difficult people" in her life?
Well, guess what?
Doing any of these things is going to BORE a woman. And if dinner lasts about an hour, that's a WHOLE hour of boredom.
Then you come to the movie. And as much as I enjoy watching movies, you can do this by yourself... so guess what?
Unless you're making out in the theatre, there's no difference. She could do this by herself if she wanted to and it would generally be the same experience.
So after a date like this, how does a woman think about you?
Well, when she gets home, this is what's running through her mind: "Wow, I just spend three hours with this guy, bored to tears — why would I even consider going out with him again?"
Of course, it's not necessarily you — it's the dinner and movie date approach.
THE SOLUTION:
Give her a reason on the first date to WANT to see you again!
By taking a woman out to dinners or movies, especially during the first month of dating, you're not giving her a reason to want to go out with you again.
In fact, you're doing the OPPOSITE.
So instead, take her somewhere that's going to be fun. In other words, take her some place where both of you will be involved in DOING something, like bowling or mini-golfing for example.
Seriously, that'll make a MUCH better impression than dinner and a movie.
And not only that, keep it short... anywhere between 20 and 45 minutes is perfect for a first date.
PROBLEM #7:
“I buy her gifts, chocolates, or flowers... but nothing changes”
I know, I know... it's supposed to work, right?
After all, it does in the movies.
And if you've ever listened to your mom's suggestions or even asked some female friends about how to impress a woman, what advice do they give you?
"Buy her chocolates and bring her flowers. She'll like that."
You've heard that, right?
And if not only is your mom saying it will impress a woman you're interested in, but other women also agree with it, shouldn't it work?
I mean, women are supposed to like chocolates and flowers, right?
Well, they do. It's true.
But here's the catch:
Giving a woman chocolates, flowers, or gifts will NOT cause her to look at you as a guy she'd like to get involved with.
In fact, it usually does the EXACT opposite.
And here's why:
If you think about it, can't any random guy off the street buy a woman gifts or flowers?
And if any guy can buy a woman gifts, why would she choose you over any of the other guys? ... or them over you, for that matter?
But wait, it get's worse:
Though few guys may not want to admit it to themselves, what are they REALLY doing when they buy gifts for women?
They're trying to "buy" a woman into liking them.
It's as if they secretly think: "If I buy her things, she owes me her affection."
Sure, they may not even notice what they're really doing or admit this to themselves, but you know what?
Women do! They can spot that "bribe" a mile a way.
THE SOLUTION:
As you've probably guessed... STOP giving women you'd like to date gifts, chocolates, or flowers.
In fact, STOP buying things for them altogether!
Sure, it's great when a woman is ALREADY your girlfriend. But don't do it before you're actually an item. It'll just make you look "bad" in her eyes.
PROBLEM #8:
“I express my true feelings for her but
then she just wants to be friends”
When a guy professes his love for a woman, isn't she supposed to melt?
And if he writes her a love song or a love poem about the way he feels about a woman, shouldn't she reciprocate his feelings?
I mean, isn't she supposed to realize how much he cares for her and immediately be overtaken with desire for him?
Again, that's how it works in the movies, so why wouldn't it work that way in real life?
Simple:
That's NOT how it works in the real world.
And to get a better understanding of what's really going on here, let's take a look at the situation from a woman's perspective:
Say a woman meets a guy.
He's really nice to her. You know, he does favors for her, he compliments her on how good she looks, he listens to all her problems... ultimately, he shows how much he really "cares" about her.
But how does a woman view a guy who acts this way toward her?
The whole time, she views him as ONLY a friend!
But meanwhile, the entire time, this guy was actually interested in a "romantic relationship" with her.
So what happens after months of being really "nice" to her?
He gets frustrated because nothing is happening between them... and what does he do?
Finally, he tells her exactly how he feels about her.
And how does she respond?
Well, since he's just a friend TO HER, she says: "I think we should be friends." Or: "I don't want to ruin our friendship." Or: "I just don't think of you THAT way."
What's up with that? ... and after all that work.
Alright, the truth is: there was nothing "going on" between them from the beginning. The guy, in his own mind, just thought there was.
THE SOLUTION:
Don't talk about how you feel about a woman before she's become your girlfriend.
Instead, let your actions speak for themselves. If you want her phone number, it shows her you're interested. If you take her out, it shows you're interested. And if you sleep with a woman, it shows you're interested.
But NEVER "discuss" where your relationship is going or talk about how you feel about her... especially if you're not an item.
PROBLEM #9:
“The more I try, the more she seems to get really irritated by me”
We all know that the best way to drive a nail into a piece of wood is to continue hitting it harder and harder until it goes all the way down, right?
So what happens when a guy takes this approach with women?
Worse than bad results, I assure you.
But you may not need me to tell you that.
So what's the problem?
Well, have you ever heard what's been said about insanity:
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time."
And what do many guys do with a woman who has told them that she just wants to be friends?
They... keep... trying.
But why?
Perhaps they think: "Well, I just need to prove how much I care about her... so I'll be even nicer to her, I'll buy her more stuff, and I'll go out of my way more often for her. Then she'll see how much I really care."
And what effect does it have on her?
She gets EXTREMELY annoyed and wants to avoid the guy at ALL costs.
Why?
Because she made it crystal clear to the guy that she's not interested in a "romantic relationship", but he doesn't get it and continues pestering her about it.
THE SOLUTION:
First, if a woman says she wants to be just friends... she JUST wants to be friends. So unless you want to irritate her, accept it and BACK OFF with your romantic pursuits!
However, that doesn't mean things won't change in the future... and here's why:
Second, women say they want to be friends with guys when they aren't sexually attracted to them — do you notice a trend showing up here?
So what you need to do is educate yourself on what makes women attracted to men. And then a woman will begin seeing you in a different, more "sexual" way automatically.
PROBLEM #10:
“She doesn’t want anything to do with me... and it’s killing me!”
By this point, do I really need to answer this one?
When a guy finds himself here, he had all of the above problems. But since he didn't solve them, they just accumulated to the point where a woman wants NOTHING to do with him...
Not even a friendship.
Put simply:
He's frustrated and stuck.
THE SOLUTION:
Learn everything you possibly can about what REALLY works with women and dating.
Get out of your own "world" and away from the things you were taught about women and dating... and start seeing the "big picture" of how things work in the real world.
How?
Learn The “Big Picture” To Successfully Date
Any Woman, Anytime, And Anywhere
Now, let me ask you this:
In the past, have you ever thought that maybe there was something wrong with you? You know, some guys just got the "great with women gene"... and you didn't?
So you're destined to have "bad luck" with women for the rest of your life?
Well, I can assure you, there's NOTHING wrong with you.
And what's more? You CAN make your own luck.
Here's what I mean:
Women are attracted to certain guys because of WHAT they do and HOW they treat women.
So if you find that women aren't very attracted to you right now, it's not because there's something wrong with you — it's just because you're not doing the "right things".
This isn't bad.
In fact, it's great!
And here's the reason why:
Because YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE THIS.
Think about it:
If women were only attracted to rich men and you were an "average citizen", there would be little you could do (at least in a small period of time).
If women were only attracted to good looking guys and you're of "average looks", there would be nothing you could do about it... aside from plastic surgery — but do you really want to look like Michael Jackson?
And if women were only attracted to tall guys and you were "short", there would be nothing you could do about it — aside from wearing stilts maybe.
But the truth is:
This is all great... because it means that as long as you choose to learn how to change the way you treat women, you too can have all the success you want.
So just how do you do that?
FIRST, start practicing everything you've just learned, starting today.
Whenever you're around a woman you're interested in, don't give her so much attention, don't linger around her, don't go out of your own way to try to please her.
Just be "cool".
SECOND, download yourself a copy of my eBook, "Cool Guy with Women".
It'll show you how to become more attractive to women by showing you what to say and what to do in every situation with women.
This includes everything from how to overcome fear and hesitation... how to meet and talk to women...how to call for dates... what to do on dates and why... and how to get into a relationship — just to name a few.
Source: http://www.mens-dating-magazine.com/pursuing-women.html
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