10. Leprechaun 4: In Space
We all know that BJ-C loves her some horrible B-Movies. However, this title is absolutely awful. At least Leprechaun in Da Hood has some ghetto aspect to it that draws my attention. This...doesn't. They could have used something like "Leprechaun Galactica" to play on words but..no, they didn't think ahead, and made a boring ass title. Cool, a 3 foot tall, evil Irish dude in Space. I could have sent Kenneth Branaugh's ginger ass up there and gotten the same effect.
9. GingerDEAD Man
See, normally I enjoy things that include "dead" to make a pun. For example "RetarDEAD, Heath DEADger, etc etc" This however. Is pretty lame. I'm sorry, but including the word DEAD in Gingerbread, does not make me scared. There is nothing you can do to make a christmas cookie scary. Sorry, blame Dreamworks. They made talking Gingerbread cookies hilarious.
8. I Know Who Killed Me
Really Lindsay, cause I know who killed you (and your career) too...his name is Al Kohall. Not to mention his accomplice Pantie Lackoff. First of all, if you're putting Lindsay Lohan anywhere NEAR a serious film, it better have a damn good title. We've all seen the proof, if Disney or Tina Fey didn't make the film...she's going to suck HARD. Both on screen & off. This title is awful, and so is the poster. Be on the lookout for it's appearance on TPT.
7. Thir13en Ghosts
Why the numbers, Why? We get that you're remaking a classic, and you want it to be more modern and hip, but the numbers? REALLY? This isn't Se7en. You can't get away with that. If you have a shittacular remake, you might as well keep the original title so people know the original film you just massacred. Plus, you wrote it in attempted 1337. THIS FILM HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE INTERNET. So..fail.
6. Fear Dot Com
Apparently, our society isn't smart enough to see .com and realize you say it "dot com" rather than I don't know, period com or circle com, or puncuation mark for the end of a sentence com. However, the wonderful people at Feardotcom.com thought it would be necessary for us to have it spelled out for us.
5. JEEpERs CrEEpers
Jeepers Creepers,
Wheredja get those peepers,
Jeepers Creepers
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CAPITALIZING LETTERS FOR NO GOD DAMN REASON.
Damn.
4. I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer
Okay, so it sucks that Knowing doesn't work the way good, better, best does. And I know, turns into I still know, and I still know turns into I always know. That is depressing because it makes a really awful and VERY LONG title for a horror film. By the way, since this happened, I don't know...like 3 summers ago. Wouldn't it be "I'll Always Know What You Did Three Summers Ago?" Yeah, get your shit straight.
3. Predator
Do it, lash out at me, I DARE YOU. But when was the last time someone came to your door and said, I'm sorry to inform you that a convicted predator has moved into the neighborhood and you instantly thought of FrickFace McGee over there? I doubt that. I'm sorry but no one thinks of predator in the predator/prey sort of context anymore. However, I won't doubt how cool that would be. Could you imagine what "How To Catch A Predator" would be like if we were chasing you know....PREDATOR?! Awesome.
2. Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
Thankyou Dr. Phil. I'm so glad you pointed this out to me. I mean, I had a severed head and the corpse of Grandma Jo all gift wrapped for her to play with. However by some miraculous act of GOD, I came across this film and it showed me how these purchases were so last season. I guess I'll settle with a Barbie doll or hula-hoop or something. Jeeze, what would I do without you?
1. The Midnight Meat Train
Clive, I'm sorry dude, but this sounds like the opening to a really bad Gay Porn. There were about 10293293478 different things you could have used. Like B-Line Butcher or Midnight Slaughter, I don't know, something. But no, you used MEAT. And a Meat Train sounds like a bunch of dudes making a locomotion ramming. I mean, the first time I said to my boyfriend "Hey, wanna watch the Midnight Meat Train?" he replied with "No, that sounds like a bunch of guys butt-secksing" Doesn't help that the guy hangs naked men from the rafters... Such a shame, because the film is awesome.
Source: http://dayofwoman.blogspot.com/2009/05/10-most-unfortunate-horror-movie-titles.html
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