10 Most Awesomely Bad Animal Tattoos

10. Gaudy Owl

Celebrity Tattoos put a great collection of wacky, weird and bad body art together, including disturbing art of Michael Jackson, Star Trek, various movie heroes (and anti-heroes), a coin slot, Mr. Cool Ice and more. The Mr. T is pretty amazing, but Pee Wee is beyond creepy. This owl is just too much.

9. Smoking Dolphin

The funny folk at Asylum have combed through the recent book No Regrets: The Best Worst, & Most #$%*ing Ridiculous Tattoos Ever, and we are glad they did. According to the book this, um, dolphin was the result of a lost bet. The book author likes it. We think it's stupid. What do you think?

8. Ugly Shark

The guys at Fishing Fury seem to appreciate this sailor-like tattoo of a shark on this burly guy's neck. We don't. It looks to us like something hastily inked in the dim, sweaty confines of a prison bathroom. Or in the hold of a Bigger Boat on a Jaws-hunting mission, after three quarts of Captain Morgan. Fishing Fury credits BME News with the image, which is full of adult content. By the way, that koi is pretty ugly too.

7. Tattooed Pigs

Thanks to blogger Chase Lab for highlighting the interesting work of Belgian artist Wim Delvoye. His Art Farm project of tattooing pigs and people sure got us thinking. Are we supposed to wonder about the similarities between intelligent pigs and people, and how badly factory farms treat them? Or are we just supposed to marvel at some of their ugly ink. Hmm.

6. Dolphin with Flames

Um yeah, we know dolphins are smart and cool and everything, and they kill for fun, but there's a little problem with this tattoo, besides that fact that it's ugly as anything: dolphins live in the water! So they can't have flames coming off them, now can they? (Unless they frolick in the waves after an oil spill, while smoking). Apparently a participant in a Dolphin Boat cruise proudly bore this ink for the camera. Remind us not to take a Dolphin Boat cruise.

5. Tiger Man

Many of you dear readers may have heard of the strange tale of one Dennis Smith from San Diego, who has spent tens of thousands of dollars in modifying his body to look more like a tiger, from filing his teeth to implants and of course tattoos. He has reportedly been researching fur grafts as well. We're glad he feels close to nature, but we're not sure this is the best way to go about getting in touch with our animal bretheren.

4. Curious Little Monkey

This monkey isn't quite as disturbing as his two buddies below, but he's still pretty crude. And probably curious. We wonder if this is what the Man With The Yellow Hat looks like when he goes to the beach…

3. Cat Butt

My eyes, my eyes! Yes The GinBlog, you are correct, this is one of the absolute worst tattoos ever.

2. Creepy Cow, Creepy Cow

This image is disturbing on a number of levels, including for the size of the um, orifice. We would hate to run into this cow in a dark pasture.

1. Monkey Shines

This hideously vulgar tat appears all over the net, and we can see why. It's rude, crude, and it's clever, in a horrifying sort of way. Especially because we at TDG have a special fondness for monkeys. And today is Monkey Monday.

Share it: